And Now For Something Complete Different (1)

The past while, I have been focused on heavy topics so for the next little bit, I want to keep it light. Today I want to regale you with a Monty Python incident in my life.

Back in January 2002, I fractured my hip. Not a fun thing to do and not recommended. I was operated on on a Saturday, where they put a plate onto my hip. By the next day, I was starting to be mobile. And my adventures began.

I had never been in a wheelchair before, so I had a lot to learn. Around the room and the ward, not a problem. My adventure begins with my taking care of my nicotine habit.

So I went to the nurse’s station and asked where the smoking room was. I was told, down in the basement. I had to go all the way down the hall, a couple of wings, take and elevator down and then I would find it.

It was a long haul to get to the elevator. And when I got there, is was a small, narrow one. One that fits about two or three people.

When it came, I rolled myself in. Pressed the button and the elevator when down. But there was no way to turn around. So I had to navigate out of the elevator backwards. To roll out into a grey, dingy basement.

Sacre Coeur is an old hospital and I was in one of the oldest wings. The basement was gray, lighting subdued. And I was alone.

From the ‘lobby’ I had to take a narrow corridor. Above me were ducts and pipes. Down the corridor were gray walls with an occasional gray door. The click-clack of my wheelchair echoed down the empty hallway.

I was just waiting for someone to jump out with a meat cleaver or come up onto the morgue. This was a scene straight out of a bad horror flick. Every thing had an echo and was creepy.
At the end of the corridor was an ATM and a couple of people. From there I got directions and the Monty Python music started.

The corridor to the smoking area was to the left. So I wheeled myself to the corridor to find myself faced with an incline, basically a long ramp. Which ended with a T. To the left was a door, to the right the corridor to the smoking area.

Gingerly I started to go down the ramp. But Newton’s Law came into effect and I picked up speed. I tried to slow myself down but couldn’t.

Half way down, I just threw my hands up and let the fates take care of me. So I barrelled down the last part of the ramp and went crashing straight into the wall. At least I put my hands out and didn’t fall out of the wheelchair.

I never got the hang of that ramp. It always ended with me up against the wall. But every time I think about it, it puts a smile on my face. I have this way of making something simple into a Monty Python skit. I bring along a couple more over the next couple of days.