Do onto others...

My last post I talked about taking time for yourself. This post is about doing things for others.

There is that famous adage about do unto others as you have them do unto you. Nice sentiment but not something you see too often these days. People like to complain when people are rude to them, cut them off, etc. etc. and then quote this. Yet they have no problem doing the same things to others.

I see that at work every day. People call in to get LAN lines with me or before cell phones. To get what they want, they start to get pushy, belligerent and just bully. They see on the website that the promotion is $10 for 4 months, a free cordless phone or one free month. They call up and want all three promotions. When I explain it is one or the other, they start to bully. "I want all three promotions". I explain they can't. Then comes a litany of "you can do it, I know" to "then I won't sign up" to "that's not fair".

Now, if they were treated that way, they would be the first to bitch about how they were treated. But they don't care if they do it. It's okay for them to be pushy but people shouldn't be pushy with them.

This selfish, egotistical attitude is pervasive in our society. People only care about themselves and could care less about anyone else. And where it hurts society the most is in the area of helping other people.

Today, I spent a little time, after work, at a place called Oasis. It is place run by the church I go to occasionally to help people in Verdun who are hard on their luck. Wednesday is the main day for providing a supper, a small bag of groceries and connecting.

I started volunteering there last year because I felt compelled to. Not because of obligation or duty but because I wanted to give back. Having lived on the streets for 9 months, I know how it is to be shunned by society. Have people ignore you & treat you like dirt.

It is amazing what one can get when they freely give of themselves with no strings attached. I'll give two examples, both similar. One that happened today and another some months ago.

A few months ago, a young man came into Oasis. He had the deer in headlights look I know so well. I've been there. I could see he hadn't eaten in a few days and didn't know what to do. He walked with a heavy weight on his shoulders.

Sheepishly he came up to the counter and asked if he could have some food. No problem. I filled up a plate and gave it to him. He quickly ate what I gave him. When he was done, he looked about furtively, not knowing what to do. Slowly he got up and came up to me. Even more sheepishly he asked if he could have seconds. We have more than enough so not a problem. A ghost of a smile came to his face as I gave him another plate.

As he was devouring the second plate, it was quiet so I headed out for a cancer stick. I was about half way done when he came out. He saw me smoking and I could tell he wanted one. But he was having a hard time getting the nerve to ask for one. When he finally did, I immediately pulled out my deck and handed him a couple. He thanked me and the smile got a little stronger. And I noticed as he walked away, it seemed as if the weight he had when he came in was a little less.

The same thing happened today. A young guy came in and also was sheepish about asking. And once again, when he left, there was a little less weight on his shoulders.

Thing is, one I treated them like human beings. I was polite and kind to them. I was cheerful and smiled at them. And the positive emotions I was giving out was genuine. They could see it. The small act of kindness I did gave them a little bright spot. And hopefully a little hope.

But it feels great when I see that happening. Today, one of the regulars, Barb needed someone to talk to. So I stood there with my coffee and just listened. The fifteen minutes I spent with her let her vent and blow some steam. And she felt good when she left. All the regulars leave feeling a little better because there were some people there who cared and was willing to give a little of their time and kindness without wanting anything back.

And there are not enough people out there who are doing this. There is one couple who occasionally work at Oasis. But they are doing this out of a sense of Christian duty. And you can sense it. They serve the meals but don't engage the people there in conversation. They don't smile too much. They just do the job and no more.

The people there can sense it. I hadn't been there for a few months, because of being self-absorbed. So today, many of them were surprised to see me and were honestly curious what had happened to me. I was stunned to see that I was missed.

More people should get off their fat asses and go out into their community to help out. And the bullshit about not having the time doesn't cut it. I rushed out of work today to get to Oasis in time. I got home around 8:30. Yeah, I am tired but it is a good tired. In a little way, I made a few peoples lives a little brighter today. And it feels good.

The excuse of not having time is bogus. Be it soup kitchens like Oasis to Big Brothers/Sisters to reading books at daycare centers, it is only a couple of hours in one week. Most people can afford that little time in a week. And it makes no difference if you have a family or have a busy job.

I look at my friends Brian and Jude. They both work and have kids. But they will make time to do things with their church. They give back when they can. It is the same for some of the people who volunteer at Oasis. And the thing is, it doesn't have to be a couple of hours each week. It could be just once a month. I can't think of anyone I know who can't put aside two or three hours one day in a month to help out other people.

I suppose the big problem is the "what is in it for me?" I saw that years ago when I was giving blood before I wasn't allowed to. Until they banned all gay people from giving blood, I gave two to three times a year. A lot of people I knew didn't understand why I did it. But if there was money involved, then they would be there, first in line, to give blood. Something like "this will help someone in need" wasn't a good enough reason.

It is the same for soup kitchens and other places that rely on volunteers. If they put up incentives like money, they would have volunteers coming out of the wahzoo. Or you get the calculating, cold attitude like I saw with one person I worked with a couple of years ago. She did volunteer work because it looked good on her resume. And it allowed her to strut around work, feeling superior. Her callous attitude stunned me but I'm not surprised.

I honestly believe by putting out positive energy, it comes back to you in different ways. A positive action causes a ripple effect. Someone leaving Oasis feeling good about themselves can be passed on to another person they meet later on. And in time, I believe it comes back to me.

And except for a little time, it costs nothing to help out. A simple smile, a cheerful "have a good evening" costs nothing. But gives back to much. Today I lost count of how many people who said "thank you" or "I appreciate what you've done". The hour and a half today gave me more than what a paycheck can give me. What I gave out came back ten fold. And the joy I feel right now cannot be bought or sold. It can only be honestly given.

Try it some time. See how you feel when someone who has less than you smiles and thanks you for being there for them. There is no drug or drink that can replace or reproduce the feeling you get when that happens. Nothing can describe the feeling you get when you honestly help someone else and they turn around & recognize what you have done. Isn't that the whole point of being part of a community?

Honouring The Sabbath

A little while ago I read an interesting op-ed piece in the New York Times by Henry G. Brinton. He is a pastor of Fairfax Presbyterian Church in Virginia. The piece was about honouring the Sabbath and it made me think.

The Fourth of the Ten Commandments says to remember the Sabbath Day. Now, of course, there are people who are not religious who will be quick to dismiss this because there is nothing in the Old Testament that is relevant for today. And there are some that take the Sabbath to the other extreme and won’t even turn on lights on the Sabbath.

But remember the Sabbath, as many other “rules” in the law books of the Old Testament actually make sense and are relevant today. Our lives and society would benefit from some of these ancient “rules”.

As Brinton wrote:

The problem with ignoring the Sabbath is that it hurts us as individuals, families and communities. Wayne Muller, a therapist, minister and best-selling author, is convinced that modern life has become a violent enterprise.

We make war on our bodies by pushing them beyond their limits, war on our children by failing to give them our time, and war on our communities by failing to be kind and generous and connected to our neighbours. To bring an end to this destruction, we have to establish a healthier balance between work and rest.

Whether religious or not, people know that they need to take a day off in order to maintain their sanity and remain efficient and productive at work. But I'm convinced that downtime is not enough.

We need a formal day of rest. A true Sabbath gives us time to refresh and renew ourselves, regain proper perspective and redirect our lives to what is good and true and worthwhile.

Thing is, we live in a society were taking a break or resting is seen as wasting time. It is not considered a positive thing. Our society constantly “rewards” people who are focused on their work seven days a week. Even worse, the technology helps reinforce this. Be it our computer, Blackberries or cellphones, we are more and more connected with our workplace. And it is considered odd and suspicious if we try to have them disconnected from work.

Dennis Olson, professor of Old Testament Theology at Princeton Theological Seminary, is quoted as saying:

Modern culture's time values often seem enslaving and oppressive. Work time seems increasingly to expand and rob us of time with family and friends. Computers and the Internet bombard us with a constant flow of data, messages and information.

So we are putting more time “at” the office. People might be working 9 to 5, but when they come home, they bring home work. Or use the Internet. And it doesn’t have to be obvious and active.

A good example in my own life, when I was part of a campaign to sell cellphones, when I was here at home, checking out news reports & articles, if one popped up about cellphones, I would make a special note of it. And then the next day, bring it to the attention of my colleagues. Thing is, I don’t own a cellphone and really care about them. So subliminally, work would sneak in and take some of my down time.

According to Brinton, back in 1910, the average amount of sleep an American had was nine hours a night. Today it is less than seven. The result is that we feel harried and hurried. We feel out of balance and even worse, out of sync.

Be it here or in Europe, until recently, the laws of the land kept businesses closed on Sunday. This forced people to focus on going to church, resting and relaxing. But many people did not like the restrictions so laws started to change allowing businesses to be open on Sunday.

Part of the reason was because, already, we were feeling the demand to work harder. It became increasingly difficult to get everything done on Saturday, balancing shopping, work and family life. So we needed to have things open on Sunday.

I saw this in Germany, when I was working back there in 1994. Groups were trying to have stores open in Sunday and there was quite a controversy about it. But I saw people at the Institute, having to come in on Saturday to do a few things leaving only Sunday to do laundry or shopping.

As Brinton points out, and I wholeheartedly agree, the Sabbath is not a Saturday or Sunday as it has become over the past long while. The Old Testament points out that six days are for work and one day is for rest. It does not specify the day of the week. It could be a Wednesday.

The word Sabbath is related to the Hebrew verb meaning “to cease, stop, interrupt”. This is a day to break away from work patterns. A day to recharge our batteries. Refresh ourselves. This should be a time to do things like hobbies, sports or artistic activities, not sitting in front of the boob tube. Or as theologian Marva Dawn, author of Keeping the Sabbath Wholly: Ceasing, Resting, Embracing, Feasting suggests:

Spend more time with people in a friendly way, with meals (and) extended conversations, but no talk related to work.

Over the past while, I have been starting to try to give myself some down time. Be it, after work, sitting in a park near my place and just reading. Sitting on a bench on a busy street and watching the world go by. Or just going for a walk in part of the city I don’t know.

I am finding that little time I am giving myself is really helping me deal with the stress I am currently under. I am finding my thinking is becoming unstructured. The stress starts to melt away. And potential solutions to what is vexing me pop suddenly into my mind.

And I actually believe that during these short periods I am giving to myself, I am close to God, the Cosmic Muffin or whatever you want to call him. This time allows me to hear what he or she has to tell me without the clutter of the life around me.

I know there are some that will be scratching their head at this point. With all the crap that has happened and is happening, isn’t it naive or grasping at straws believing in the nebulous concept of a God? I don’t think so.

My concept of God is still in flux and everchanging. But I do believe there is something that is greater than us out there. Something that believes in us, even if we don’t believe in ourselves. Something that wants the best for each one of us, even though it means going through a rough time.

For me, be it the Christian, Jewish or Muslim God, those are just facets of what really is God. How can you represent something that is infinite. We can’t help construct an anthropomorphic object to explain the unexplainable.

But I have seen too much not to believe in God or the Cosmic Muffin. And see the basic truths revealed in some of the sacred texts I have started to read. Yet we are too stiff-necked to see it or are not just listening. And for me, that is part of the point of the Sabbath.

It is not just about going to the mosque, synagogue or church. It is setting aside a day where the most important thing is you. This is not work. This is not the lawn that needs mowing. This is not the toilet bowl that needs to be cleaned. This is about you.

Life has a tendency to separate us from what is really important. An artificial construct is formed and presented to us as what we should consider important. But at the expense of what makes us important. The essence of who we are.

The most important person in my life is myself. Yet I do not live alone. I live in a community, be it those I know at work or people I have built relationships with. One cannot underestimate the importance and impact of the communal dimension of rest. It is important for maintaining healthy relationships in our families, extended families and communities.

This can be as simple as going up to someone cottage to having a few people over for a BBQ and videos. Or like I had some years ago with Dungeons & Dragons. It was a time to just chat, share in something and have some good food.

This is a time where you get a chance to talk and share without time pressures or interruptions. Away from the demands of work. Also it can be valuable for decompression, allowing people to bitch for a little while about work.

The reality of it all is that we remember and cherish these times. Far more than the time we toil at work. Be it sitting quietly in a park, watching the world going by or being with a group of friends, that gives us something positive to focus on and remember. As the saying goes, no one on their deathbed says:

I wish I had spent more time at the office.

And the positive energy we get from giving ourselves a break makes us more productive at work. It can make the week go faster and/or more smoothly if we have something positive to look forward to. If you know that on Saturday you are getting together for a BBQ with friends, there is less chance you will focus on the negative happening at work.

We have to get back to the idea that we don’t live to work but work to live. And taking time for yourself reinforces that. That is what the Sabbath is all about.

It reminds us what is really important in our life. It isn’t money or the job we have. It isn’t the PlayStation or Acura. It is first & foremost ourselves and our mental health. And then our friends and family. It is our honest happiness that is important. Taking time for yourself is one big step toward that, not the pay cheque we have become a slave to.

Then again, this is easy enough to say. Now putting it into practice is harder. But I know I am going to try. After all, I am worth it.

Ancient & Modern Weirdness

Australia is a fascinating place. They have exotic animals not seen anywhere else and do research on dingo urine (check one of my previous posts). Now Australia gets more exotic and fascinating.

Palaeontologists are digging in northern Australia and have found fossil evidence of at least 20 previous unknown creatures. The team from the University of New South Wales are currently digging in the north-west part of the state of Queensland, in the Riversleigh fossil fields. Professor Mike Archer has said that the dig has turned up:

truly extraordinary material

I dare say they are correct. One of the fossil finds they are calling a "killer kangaroo". They estimate that this flesh-eating marsupial is estimated to have lived between 10 to 20 million years ago. And is it suggested that these killer kangaroos would not be like the kangaroos of today.

In an Australian newspaper, Professor Archer is quoted as saying:

There were meat-eating kangaroos with long fangs, and galloping kangaroos with long forearms, which could not hop.

But it doesn't stop there. Palaeontologist Sue Hand, who is also part of the dig, told Australian radion of another find. There is another potentially frightening creature there, as she said:

Very big birds... More like ducks, earned the name demon ducks of doom, some at least may have been carnivorous.

Obviously there are plans to study the fossils in detail, so they can learn more about these species. And in time, they hope to determine what effect the changing of the climate over time in Australia affected their development.

As I read this, an old Bugs Bunny episode came to mind. One of my favorite characters is Marvin the Martian (where's the kaboom, there was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom). In one episode he zaps Bugs with a devolution beam, turning him into a Neanderthal bunny. Who is large & threatening and can eat metal.

The image of the two ancient species just sounds so strange. Kangaroos with fangs, Demon ducks. And people thought dinosaurs were scary. Just think of it, kangaroos with fangs and longer forearms. In a herd, galloping toward you. And with demon ducks hover over you. Thing is, if someone wrote this, people would dismiss it as silly. Kangaroos are cute and cuddly. Even if you add fangs to a picture of one, they don't look scary.

Actually, this might be a boon for PETA. They want us to become vegetarians and stop wearing animal skins. Look how the kangaroo evolved. It was once a nasty carnivorous animal, hunting poor innocent smaller animals. But over time, they have become cute, herbivores. The kangaroo could become a mascot for them. If kangaroos can do it, so can we.

Just think of it. The ads can show a cute kangaroo & have a byline like: They evolved, why don't you? This is more soothing than showing gory pictures or throwing red paint on people wearing fur. Pamela Anderson could run around with a stuffed kangaroo. They could merchanize stuffed kangaroos, getting more money.

Maybe this find might start a new trend. Or maybe a scene in a planned Dr. Who novel. The mind boggles.

Ah, to be a computer geek

For me, programming is like writing. You sit down with a nebulous idea and slowly create something from nothing. The program slowly evolves as you poke and prod at it, trying to shape it into the form you want. And all too often, it goes off in directions you don't expect.

Since late last year, I didn't do any real programming. Like writing, I had lost my drive. But over the past while, it has been coming back, partly because of necessity. And it feels good to be back in the saddle.

Last week, I was groaning about updating the Brutopia website, since it is now a little more complicated being in French and English. As I was putting the info in, double checking the dates, I thought 'fuck, there is an easier way to do this'. And there is.

So I fired up my main C++ platform and wrote a quick and dirty program. Now I have a calendar in front of me so I can click and enter the artist for that day. And with a click of a button, it generates the HTML code which I can put into the main entertainment page of the website. And it generates both the French & English versions, so I am set.

And this brought me back to some old packages I wrote last year. The above screen dump shows a program I was working on to take care of historical information for Tangled Threads. With this package I can work with key historical details and keep track of what happened when. Which makes my life easier because when you are dealing with over 900 years of history, pieces of paper can be confusing and get lost. On top of that, I can keep track of bloodlines, like the following screen dump shows.

Revisiting my old software, I see I have a package to maintain my glossary, organize my calendar so I know the phases of the moon and other goodies to help me handle the massive amount of information I am building for Tangled Threads.

It feels good being back into what I do well. I never was, and never will be a pure programmer. I am a prototyper. Someone to get something done quick and dirty. Anything that needs to be solid and marketable, let a grunt take care of it. That is why I never tried to 'sell' some of my software ideas.

The little nitpicking stuff like debugging, bullet-proofing and test cases bore me to tears. When I develop a program, the jazz I get is from seeing it come from nothing to something and basically does the job. It is the creating I get off on. The fine-tuning and debugging is just boring. Which is one reason I am not still in the computer field.

It is hard to describe, though, the excitment you can get when creating a program. You have a blank slate and start to develop code, organize objects. Bit by bit, the program starts to do what you are expecting. A graph appears, a word is recognized, HTML code is generated. Be one day or four weeks later, you have created something that is doing something you wanted it to do.

But the scary thing is that this is also a Dr. Frankenstein scenario. This, often, is what drives hackers to write viruses, Trojans, etc. There is that unexplainable thrill when you can create something that does what you want. I've been there, but never to the point of writing a virus.

Years ago, I was one of those that cracked into software, finding keys and even modifying code. I tried to figure out passwords just because I could. If I could get past a security feature, I was excited. From the beginning I was an anarchist when it came to computers and a major supporter (still am) of open source. And it was a thrill if I could break through a barrier put up by someone else.

But all too often, be it TV shows or movies, don't show computer geeks like me in the right light. Yeah, when I get into my program, I can spend hours in front of the computer screen debugging and coding. But unlike those out there playing video games, I am creating. I am deriving something new. I am not being passive, I am being active.

For me that is the crux of how computer geeks are presented. We work in a world of symbols many do not understand. We have acronyms which make no sense. All too often, we don't have the best of social skills because a computer is easier to deal with than a human being. A computer, usually, is more predicable than a person. But in the end, we are creating something. Some of us are Dr. Frankensteins, while others are little gods. Bluntly, we can do something that most people can't. In the darkness of our rooms, lit only by the light of our monitors, we are creating.

Be it this blog, the wordprocessor you use, the spreadsheet program for your budget, to the torrent client you use, little geeks like me made it possible. We took an idea and made it concrete. So when you look at a TV show or movie and see a malajusted computer geek, with tape holding his glasses together, weighing in around 250 pounds, think again. We come in all
shapes and sizes and mentalities.

Back in 1995, I was in New Orleans for a computer conference. Thousands of computer people descended on one of my favorite places in the world. You had the stereotypical geeks that never left the hotel. If they weren't at sessions or birds of a feather, they were in front of the banks of computers available to them. All too often to be kicked out at 2:00 AM. Then there were the geeks like me coming in, at 3:00 AM with a to-go cup, drunk heading up to my room. I remember the pub down on Decatur, where I played pool & had Guinness. I had great food and my liver divorced me that trip. And there were others in the between.

But be it the pale fat geek or the drunk thin geek, we all share on thing: creating. So next time you see on your screen a computer nerd, glued to his computer, just think that he is creating something. What may seem passive isn't. And remember one of the best computer geeks is the richest man in the world. Even though he ain't much of a computer geek, in my opinion. But that is another post.

Danger in the Womb

Okay. Some researchers have too much time & money on their hands. Dingo urine, that makes sense. This doesn't. There is an article on the BBC website with the title:

Womb environment 'makes men gay'

Now, according to a Canadian study, a man's sexual orientation may be determined by conditions in the womb. Supposedly, previous research has revealed the more older brothers a boy has, the more likely he is to be gay. But the reason for this phenomenon has yet to be discovered.
New research has been published in the journal of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, trying to discover this phenomenon. The lead researcher, Anthony Bogaert studied 944 heterosexual and homosexual men with either:

• “biological” brothers - that is share the same mother
• “non-biological” brothers - that is adopted, step or half siblings

Bogaert found a link between the number of older brothers & homosexuality only existed when the siblings shared the same mother. And he found the amount of time the guy spent being raised with older brothers did not affect their sexual orientation. So he writes in the journal:

If rearing or social factors associated with older male siblings underlies the fraternal birth-order effect [the link between the number of older brothers and male homosexuality], then the number of non-biological older brothers should predict men's sexual orientation, but they do not ... These results support a prenatal origin to sexual orientation development in men

And now to the crux of the article, which had my jaw drop. Bogaert suggests the effect is probably the result of a “maternal memory” in the womb for male births. He suggests a woman's body may see a male fetus as “foreign”, which prompts an immune reaction. This reaction may grow progressively stronger with each male child. The antibodies created might affect the developing brain of a male fetus.

In an accompanying article, scientists from Michigan State University state:

These data strengthen the notion that the common denominator between biological brothers, the mother, provides a prenatal environment that fosters homosexuality in her younger sons. But the question of mechanism remains.

What a complete piece of utter shite! These researchers are getting grant money for this bogus research and publishing it. And even worse, the gay activists jump on this, like Andy Forrest, a spokesman for Stonewall, a gay rights group. He says:

Increasingly, credible evidence appears to indicate that being gay is genetically determined rather than being a so-called lifestyle choice. It adds further weight to the argument that lesbian and gay people should be treated equally in society and not discriminated against for something that's just as inherent as skin colour.

Excluding this piece of shite can't explain lesbians, it does not explain many gay men, including myself. I am the first born. Some gay men I know are not only first born but only children. So there weren't any antibodies in my mother's system when I was conceived.

Also, I feel a thread of misogyny in this study. A male fetus is considered “foreign”. Please, give me a break. But I can see a linkage here that some researchers would use: the Rhesus factor. Something I quite familiar with.

I am O+, my mother is O-. So when I was gestating in her womb, antibodies formed because I was seen as a foreign body. This, in the end, caused any O+ fetuses to be attacked and aborted. My mother lost two children before my sister came about She is O- so the antibodies did nothing. Then there were two more children that were lost because of the Rhesus factor.

So yes, there are physical situations where the mother's system builds antibodies. But antibodies just because the fetus is male? What is it that would cause this reaction? Also, antibodies, from my knowledge, kill the 'foreign' bodies, not affect the bodies. As I just mentioned, my mother lost 4 babies because of the Rhesus factor. So the idea that antibodies ‘changes’ the brain of a fetus sounds just absurd. And, it does not explain a broad spectrum of gay men, let alone gay women.

In some way, I can understand the importance of showing that homosexuality is nature not nurture. For some people, they believe it will mitigate the homophobia out there. For me, that is utter bullcrap.

Homophobia will still exist if it can be proven, without a doubt, being gay is a natural occurrence. We are dealing with an irrational reaction. Prejudice against groups like the Jews or African-Americans are long running and not matter what is said, people still hate them. It isn't going to change with homophobia.

What frustrates me about some of the gay activists is they believe that showing gay is natural and with some education, homophobia will be eliminated. This naive view drives me crazy. There are people out there, doing research, trying to prove black people are inferior because of the size of their cranium. There are people who still hold onto The Protocols of the Elders of Zion even though it has been consistently shown to be a hoax and forgery.

Anti-Semitism has been around for over 2000 years and be it education or discussion, I don't see it changing in the future. It is the same for prejudice against blacks, Muslims, Christians, whatever.

I really like how Elisabeth Young-Bruehl defines prejudice in The Anatomy of Prejudice. She breaks them into three basic categories:

• obsessional,
• hysterical,
• narcissistic.

Obsesssional prejudice, by her definition, sees its objects as omnipresent conspirators or enemies set on one’s destruction. Hysterical prejudice interprets the hated individuals as “other”, as inferior, and as sexually threatening. Those who suffer from narcissistic prejudice cannot tolerate the idea that there exists people who are not like them.

Within these categories, one can see anti-Semitism, racism and sexism. For Young-Bruehl, she argues that homophobia, alone of all prejudices, fits into all of these categories.

Homosexuals are all-purpose “victims”. To many, they are clannish and dangerous, like Jews. They are sexually obsessed and predatory like people of colour. They are like women and therefore are not real men.

Homophobia has take various forms and arise from many sources over the vast time we have been on this planet. Over time, homophobia has been invented, fostered and supported by different agencies of society including religion, government, law and science. It tends to bring out a special venom when people imagine a threat to the security of gender roles, of religious doctrine, or of the state & society. And we shouldn’t forget the sexual safety and health of the individual.

To conclusively show that being gay is in the genes isn’t going to change anything. Being natural is not going to change the argument that it is better that a child be brought up by a man & a woman. Being natural is not going to get rid of the disgust many men have at the thought of gay sex. Being natural is not going to rid of the inherent threat straight guys feel around gay men; believing that the fag beside them is trying to get him into bed.

And education isn’t going to change anything. There are segments of the gay culture that are clannish. There are groups who are sexually obsessed and predatory. There are some that are just like women. And they help reinforce the stereotype and prejudice.

Of course, there are just as many heterosexuals that fit the above categories but they do not fit in the equation. When I bring this up, it is quickly dismissed as irrelevant.

Sorry, if you want to point to the bath-houses, I can point to the places straight people gather to have group-sex and orgies. You cannot point to a gay man who is hitting on a straight man, hoping to get him in the sack without pointing to a straight guy doing the same thing with a woman.

Agreed one of the major stumbling blocks we have is how so many gay people want to define themselves only by the sexuality. This narrow-minded focus hurts any kind of advancement of the average gay man or woman.

Sexuality is an important part of a person, that I do not deny. But the majority of heterosexuals do not see themselves as just heterosexual. There is more to them than just who they fuck. For me, it is the same thing for me.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am gay. And I am white. I was born left-handed but forced to be right-handed. I am a researcher. I am a writer. I get severe migraines. I will be 49 this year. These things define me as much as who I want to sleep with.

Yes, as a gay man, I would like to have conclusive proof that my sexuality was not a choice. I know it wasn’t. Then I can dismiss any argument thrown at me about being unnatural. But it isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion of who am I. I will still be part of a minority that people spit upon, want to curb my rights and prefer I not talk about my dates.

Research should be unbiased and focused on getting to a truth or solution. It should not be clouded by an agenda. Yet any research, pro or con, on homosexuality is tainted with an agenda. And should be viewed that way.

All I can say to Anthony Bogaert is that your research says nothing about me. And for me, what I have read, it is shite. I know that there were no antibodies in my mother’s system that ‘adjusted’ my brain chemistry.

But I do know, she flew to Canada when she was about 6 months pregnant, to emigrate here. Maybe it was something about the cabin pressure in the airplane. Or the change of climate she encountered. Or the stress moving to a new country.

This is making me wonder. Maybe I have the basis of a research project here. Oh, I could get some grant money for this. If Anthony Bogaert can get money to do his research on a dumb idea, why can’t I?

Happy Canada Day, More or Less

It is July 1st, Canada Day. A day for some to relax and enjoy a nice summer day. But for some, July 1st is a day from hell. It is the day of an annual gruesome ritual called moving. As I just experienced over the past 10 hours, helping a buddy from work out. So I am tired, sore and a little cranky. That's what I am posting twice on one day.

For those who live outside Quebec, you don't know what a horrible day July 1st can be. You see, years ago, the Quebec government, in their infinite wisdom, decided that leases for things like apartment rentals would start on July 1st and end on June 30th. Why, I don't know and I don't have the energy to research this. So if you sign a lease on October 12th, it goes only to June 30th.

So for most people, they move around July 1st. Moving is already a stressful situation. But this imposed time of moving adds so many more issues to the situation.

The first is cost. Because of the demand for trucks, vans, U|Hauls, moving people, etc, the price sky rockets a couple of weeks before July 1st and a couple of weeks after. A U|Haul that would normally cost you $19.95 for a day now is $19.95 for three hours. The price for professional help doubles or triples in price. So what might normally cost you $50-$100 now goes into the $200-$300 range, if you are lucky.

And because of the demand, there is the booking issue. You have to book the van or whatever early to get a time that fits your schedule. Otherwise you have to take what they have left. You might be moving between 8 PM to 11 PM. Which makes planning a complete nightmare.

If you are lucky, you are moving into an empty place. But all too often, you aren't. So you are affected by the schedule of the other people. This happened to my friend Kate. We had the truck from 8 AM to 11. But the people in the place we were moving her to weren't getting a truck until 11.

We were lucky and the weather was decent, so we could put stuff outside in front of the building. As could the other people. So we ended up playing an intricate ballet to get Kate's stuff into her new place. If the weather had been bad, we would not have had a place to put her stuff. There wasn't a garage or enclosed area large enough to hold her stuff.

Then comes the traffic. Since there are many vans, cars, etc. out there moving people, traffic can be hell when you are moving someone. Today, as we navigated different streets, we were weaving back and forth because of truck jutting out from drive ways. Or swerving to avoid a car that pulled out of a parking spot because the driver wasn't watching what he was doing. And mostly like stressed out because of the move he was involved in.

Of course, we can't forget getting help here. Most people I know don't like helping people move. It is as exciting as helping paint an apartment. But if you don't ask early enough, ten to one, your friends have already committed to helping someone else. So you get a situation like Angela, where there were only 4 people to help her out.

And my last point of this rant before relaxing is Angela was lucky. July 1st was part of a weekend. She can relax tomorrow. But when it is during the week, yes we get the day off but we don't get the day before & after off. All too often, people have to take vacation time just to be able to move. What a wonder waste of well earned vacation time.

So if you are visiting Montreal some time around Canada Day, our day for celebrating our country and hear people bitching about having to move, take pity on them. Unlike most people in the rest of the civilized world, they are involved in cruel and unusual punishment imposed by the government. You have no idea what a move is until you are involved with a move here in Quebec.

But enough ranting. To all the Canadians out there, Happy Canada Day! Enjoy the long weekend. And have a beer on me. And to all the Americans out there, all the best for your day coming up. Have a good beer on me.

Ah, Deutchland!

I have a soft spot for Germany, partly because I worked with Germans here in Montreal and worked there for a little while. So I am rooting for Germany in the World Cup.

So with all the news reports coming from Germany hosting the World Cup, one came up I had to address. This, to me, is a major PR blunder. Which has lead to the logo that starts off this post.

One of the seven US sponsors of the World Cup is Anheuser-Busch. I was surprised to see there were any US sponsors since the US is one of the only countries in the world that doesn’t give a shit about the World Cup.

Anyway, Anheuser-Busch paid $40 million for “pouring rights” at 12 stadiums across Germany. This has, as expected cause some major problems.

To put it simply, Germans hate Budweiser. And I can’t say I don’t blame them. Now weeks before the inaugural games, Germans were furious at the prospect of having to drink Bud at some of the stadiums. Many Germans refer to Bud as “dishwater”. This prompted a website, BudOut - we’re into beer that has the above logo. As the logo shows, it lampoons the American brewer and expresses their disgust.

The first quote from the website include:

Human dignity is inviolable

which is quoted from the German constitution. The site goes on to call Bud:

an insult to all true beer lovers

and

insult to your tongue

Ah but things get worse over the Germany. FIFA (the Federation Internationale de Football), soccer’s governing body did little to improve Bud’s standing. During the first round Holland-Ivory Coast, thousands of Dutch fans had to watch in their underwear. Now why was this, some may ask?

Well close to a quarter million Dutch fans purchased orange coloured shorts to support their team. And they carry the logo of Bavaria, which is a Dutch beer. To protect Budweiser’s rights, FIFA forced the Dutch supporters to remove their shorts.

In The Guardian, a Dutch fan, Sjoerd Schreurs was quoted as saying:

It's ridiculous. I took my trousers off. I managed to chuck them over the fence to some friends. But another official spotted them and took them away.

The World Cup is a marketer’s wet dream, in most countries, except the US. In 2002, more than a billion people watched the World Cup final between Brazil and Germany. FIFA says that 32 million cumulative viewers will watch this year’s month long tournament. And they estimate that each match will draw in 350 million viewers. To put this into perspective, the 2006 Super Bowl had 95 million viewers worldwide.

These titanic numbers in international audience are the reason companies will spend $1 billion in advertising before the end of the World Cup. Anheuser-Busch expects to spend $70 million in advertising and marketing. This is more than it spent on the Super Bowl and Olympics.

So, as Tony Ponturo, VP for global media and sports marketing at Anheuser-Busch points out:

For us it's the No. 1 beer consumer event in the world

He also points out that they have been a World Cup sponsor since 1986 and it markets heavily at the event. It makes no difference if it is in France, Korea or Germany.

But, true to character, the Americans come in like a bull in a china shop and are surprised at any kind of reaction, especially negative reactions.

We are talking about Germany. A place where, in 1516, the Beer Purity Law was established. This limits beer ingredients to yeast, water, barley and hops.

Over time, some adjustments were made to allow other ingredients for speciality beer, like wheat and rice. This was the loophole that Anheuser-Busch tried to use in the late 80’s to get their ‘beer’ to be imported. You see rice is a key ingredient in Bud. And that explains alot.

There were various legal challenges that kept Bud from the German market until 1996. But Bud can only be sold as “Anheuser-Busch Bud” so it will not be confused with the popular Czech beer: Budweiser Budvar.

One way Anheuser-Busch thought about appeasing the German drinkers was that they made a deal that the German-made Bitburger beer could be sold in the stadiums, albeit in unmarked cups. Ponturo pointed out that Bud was outselling Bitburger at a 70 to 40 percent rate.

Which doesn’t surprise me because Bitburger, in my opinion, isn’t much better than Bud. It is one of the mass produced German beers, exported to places like here in Canada.

What surprised me was that Ponturo actually pointed to the extremely competitive beer market in Germany where you will have over 1200 breweries. And Bud represents less than 1% of the market share. He is quoted saying:

It's difficult for even German beers to grow in certain areas of Germany because there are so many local beers. There are so many options, and they take pride in that.

Now he is right. What impressed me when I was working in Germany was the different beers, local and national, that were available. Be it bock, wheat, lager, whatever, you had quite a choice. When I started working there, I was in heaven trying different local Bavarian beers. And it seemed, each small town had it’s own small brewery.

But some of them were pure utter crap. I quickly found out that many of the mass-produced beers were not much better our mass-produced Canadian beers. But generally better than mass-produced American beers.

Thing is, Americans have some amazing beer. Be it Samuel Adams, Sierre Nevada, Pete’s to name a few, I have had great American beers. And found amazing brewpubs. But the giants like Anheuser-Busch, Coors or Miller pump out their piss at a cheap price so the average person generally buys their crap instead of the good stuff.

But what is happening in Germany with Bud just shows the arrogant attitude many of these businesses have toward their customers. And it isn’t just American companies.

A few years ago, I was part of the St. Patrick’s Parade here in Montreal. And one of the primary sponsors was Molson, a Canadian beer maker. I was wearing a Cat in the Hat style Guinness hat. Which I was not allowed to wear because it would cause problems with the sponsor. My take was: Huh? This is an Irish parade. What is more Irish than Guinness. But that is not how the sponsors see it. The cameras would pick it up. The parade was sponsored by Molson so only Molson ‘ads’ could be shown. So I could not down Ste. Catherine showing the word Guinness.

Which was stupid because along Ste. Catherine, there were tons of people on the sidewalk wearing the same hat which got on camera. At least Molson didn’t go into the crowd, like FIFA with the Dutch fans, to get the revellers at the parade to remove their hats.

For me, it is an arrogance that permeates the corporate mindset. They see people as stupid sheep that get confused if they see more than one brand of the same thing advertised. If someone saw Budweiser being shown along side with Bitburger, they might have a melt down. They might not know what to buy!

Instead of believing in their quality of their brands, they hope that minimizing the competition, people will not go out and try other things. This might work in your own country where you have a large market share but it doesn’t work internationally.

Beers like Heinken or Corona use a mystique to hook new customers here in North America. But people keep buying them because they are good beers. Bud sells because it is cheap way to get a buzz. It isn’t good.

American wines are doing well internationally. If beer like Samuel Adams were to show up here in Montreal, I would pick it up. In the end, Anheuser-Busch should have been a little more considerate about how they pushed their beer.

At the same time, we can’t blame all of this on Anheuser-Busch. FIFA dropped the ball also. They pandered to a sponsor, leaving an interesting image for many football fans after the Holland-Ivory Coast game.

Their action, to me, shows that the sponsor is more important than the fans. Money is more important than the World Cup itself. It shows that they, like all the other organizing committees are seeing these events not as a celebration of excellence but an orgy of greed.

I know it costs money to put these events on. But they make money on the ticket prices. They make money on the television rights. The World Cup brings in thousands upon thousands of fans, as I saw when I was in Italy in 1990.

The World Cup has been around for a while. FIFA should know how to run the tournament without the strings attached when it comes to sponsors. It is not like the Olympics where new venues have to be built and new infra-structures need to be created.

Each German city has a football stadium. From what I can see, nothing new was required to be built. So what are all the expenses needed for? I suppose that is the unanswered question that is at the root of this post.

More and more of these events are just giant billboards for products and the reason for them are being lost. Be it the World Cup or the Olympics, we should be celebrating the sport and the athletes. But they are just becoming a big business themselves.

But I am not hardened by this turn of events. Be it the St. Patrick’s Parade here or the World Cup, the people who participate are the heart of it. And if we have to sit in our underwear, we’ll let the sponsors and organizers know who is important here. Now if only they would stop and listen.