Catkins

This is a male catkin on a willow.

This is a male catkin on a common hazel in January before opening.

But what is a catkin, you may ask. I will let Wikipedia tell you:

Catkins, or aments, are slim, cylindrical flower clusters, wind-pollinated and without petals, that can be found in many plant families, including Betulaceae, Fagaceae, Moraceae, and Salicaceae. They contain unisexual flowers. Often one plant has only male catkins, while another has female, but it is also possible for a plant to contain both male and female catkins.

So what profound and deep post is in store today? I think I have uncovered something major here. A major problem deep in the forest. And I had to share it with you.

I came onto the word by accident looking up the proper spelling of a word in the dictionary. I just loved the sound of it. Catkin. It just sort of flows off the tongue when you say it out loud. Well, it does for me, anyway.

Yet I do find it interesting that one plant may only have male catkins while another will have only females. And some of the luck few get both. Sounds almost kinky. I can just see the plants out there whispering to each other, so do you have a male or female catkin dangling there. Oh, you have both? Lucky you! I wish I had both!

But then I started to see the danger that lurks deep in the forest. Something wikipedia dare not mention. Willows and hazels have catkin envy. What they don't have a catkin? What would the other plants think? I can see it now, in the middle of the forest, a willow standing tall and proud with both male and female catkins while the grubby little willows without any being relegated to the fringes of the forest.

And of course, we cannot dismiss the pain of having a small catkin compared to having a large catkin. Think about it. Would you would want to be caught dead at a tree function with a dinky catkin, while others parade around with big ones?

This is an area we need to investigate. What are the profound, psychological damage catkins could do to the well-being of a willow or hazel? Are they really necessary or just an appendage used for status? Right now, as I type, there could be severely depressed willows or hazels, preparing themselves for the chain-saw. With no regard on how their death might affect the balance of the forest. This is something we need to look into.

I thought the look of those innocent baby seal's eyes begging me to let them live was a cause. I am seeing a bigger picture. I think I have just scratched the surface here. There may be a black market for catkins out there. Maybe spam advertising catkin enlargement. My mind boggles at the potential abuse here. Then again, my mind just boggles!