And Now For Something Complete Different (4)

The last in this series, for now, is still in Erlangen, Germany. This took place during one of the roughest weeks I had there, November 28/1994 to December 4/1994. To get to the Monty Python part, we have to get a little heavy first. Bear with me.

It was then my good friend, Johnny died. Johnny was the father of one of my best friends, Brian. Yet his parents, Johnny and Blanche never treated me as just Brian’s friend. I was Loekie. I was, whether I liked it or not, part of the family.

I had known Johnny since 1979-1980. He was a gentle man with a mischievous glint in his eyes. And when he asked you how your day was, he meant it. He wanted to know.

Anyway, Johnny died late on November 28th, 1994. He was bowling with his wife & friends and had a heart attack after having a strike. They tried to bring him back a couple of times, but the family decided it was best to leave him in peace.

Because of the time difference, I did not find out until Wednesday. I came into work to find an email from a friend at work back in Montreal. All it said was there was an emergency and to contact him or my friends Errol or Brian. The first thought was something was wrong with my mum.

I had to wait over an hour because I was the only one on the floor and did not know how to dial out international numbers. When my co-worker, Wieland came in, I finally was able to call and found out Johnny died. I was stunned.

My grief grew worse because I wanted to be there for the funeral, the wake, for everything but I couldn’t. I was stuck alone. But be my mates at the Institute or the Dartmoor, I had support.

The next day, an idea came to me. If I could not be there for the funeral or wake, I would do something in Erlangen. And that is when a PBS show called Andre’s Mother came to mind. I won’t go into details about the show, but at the end, after a funeral, the crowd release white balloons as a symbol of starting to let go and guiding the dead person’s spirit upwards. And I decided I wanted to do this for Johnny.

And now the Monty Python theme music kicks in...

The plan was to do this Friday at sunset. It would about the time the funeral would be over and the wake would be starting in Montreal. I choice two balloons: a red for heart, a white for peace.

Friday morning was the adventure to find helium. My co-work and mate, Wieland knew many people around campus. So he organized to get helium for me. And off we went to get some at the physics department.

It took some time to get it. First some of the tanks weren’t working. Then we didn’t have the right helium. The helium they used was pure and the molecules would go straight through the pores of the balloon. We needed dirty helium. Which took forever to find. Now I will let my own words of that evening speak for me:

Wieland drove me out to the highest point around Erlangen. It wasn’t the place I thought we were going to. We pulled off the main road, to a parallel dirt road. As the trees cleared, I saw a cross, with Jesus, lit up by our headlights. Across the street was a cylindrical tower, which had an old, Roman look. It was like a turret of a castle without the castle.

Before Wieland went off to leave me alone, he handed me a small shot bottle of something, to fortify me. It was something like schnapps. He walked away down the dirt road and I was left with my thoughts.

As I walked from the car, I opened the bottle and drank it. Didn’t have much taste to it. Then I stopped and I stood there in the dirt road, for a couple of minutes. I couldn’t think of what to say or think. The wind was picking up, so the lines of the balloons became intertwined. I finally thought a few words and it was time to say good-bye. I decided not to untangle the balloons since, for some reason, they were now together. It had a nice symbology to it. Heart and peace together.

There was a line of trees and bushes on my left, so I move away from them. I released the balloons and they rose into the air. Only to be pushed, by a sudden wind, into the trees. Damn! I went up to the trees and pulled the balloons out. They had hit the branches, just at arm’s reach.

Moved down and away a bit and let them go again. Once again as they started to move away, the wind shifted. Only to get tangled in the trees again. This was getting a little ridiculous.

This was not going the way I envisioned it. It was starting to look like a Monty Python skit. This time, the balloons were a little higher and further in. So I had to get into the bramble, to get near the string. And there were quite a few thorns about.

I shook the branch, to get the balloons loose and scrapes over my exposed skin. After a bit, the white one shook loose and rose up into the sky, unencumbered. I shook the branch again, to get the red one out. But something happened, with the branch and the red one popped. I stood there, in the bramble, watching the white one rise in the air. The wind didn’t pick up this time. It quietly rose into the air.

Was this some sort of sign? It was Johnny’s heart that stopped. Why was it that the white one, for peace, was now floating freely in the air while the red one, for heart popped? In the end, I stood there and finally said good-bye. The white balloon slowly disappeared into the night air. Where it would end up, who knows? But it was free to go where it was supposed to.

I walked back to the car, feeling a little strange. At the car, I didn’t find Wieland there. I walked down the dirt road to where we had turned off the main road. He had gone around the corner, hidden by a row of hedges.

In the darkness, Erlangen spread before us, as pinpricks of little lights. Like the stars we could see in the sky. The night was clear and the moon wasn’t marring the sparkling lights.

When I walked up, he asked me how I was doing. I told him shaky but okay. He pointed toward Erlangen. “What do you see?” I looked at the twinkle of the town lights.

“Erlangen”, I responded.

“No, life” was his response. The glow of the town showed life. “The living are down there.” I stared at the lights. With the lights were people. With people was life. He grabbed by shoulder and hugged me. Then we walked back to the car.

When I called Montreal, I got Blanche at home. I told her about the balloons and she started to pee herself. Her comment was only Loekie could make letting go of balloons an adventure.

And when Brian came on the phone, as I was telling him what had happened, I could hear Blanche telling other people my adventures, filling the kitchen with laughter.

A fitting celebration for someone like Johnny. Someone who loved life and had that mischievous look in his eyes. I know he appreciated what happened and in the loss I still have, I can laugh.