Suicide...

We take a break from our regularly scheduled program.

Normally I spend time typing in my stuff and review it before posting it but after the past while I have been in the twilight zone, and I want to keep it raw.

One of the hardest things I have found being a friend is how to deal with someone who is losing it. What do you say or do when they are at the point they feel it is best to just end it all? A bitch slap just doesn't work. Words come out hollow and meaningless. There is nothing you can do that can stop the pain. Let's alone find a good reason to continue living in screwed up world.

It is even worse when you are talking over the phone. Face to face, there is more you can do. Be it holding the person's hand, be it a hug or a tear. But when it is just a voice with pregnant silences it becomes a fucking nightmare.

I draw on my own personal experiences and hope they hear what I have to say. I've been there. I've been an idiot that almost died twice at my own hands but survived. Be it sheer stubbornness or the naive belief there is more to all of this, I am still here. But how do you put this in words? How do you find the right words of comfort or inspiration?

It has been a rough little while and I hope, in a small way my talk on the phone has helped. I can't say for sure. All I can do is wait. It is so much easier to go through life as an uncaring son-of-a-bitch but I can't do that. I just hope what little I could say and put out helps. Now all I can do is pray and hope. Right now, I need some sleep.